As you look at my previous post, I stated that I was talking to my writers. We were talking about business when one of my writers just can't seem to stop herself from opening up. So we left the group and did a private chat. It was another sleepless night for me. I can't stop myself from thinking. The things she said just keeps running through my mind.
Sometimes I wonder. How would you know if the spark you have and your husband is gone?How would you know if your husband doesn't find you attractive anymore? I don't know why I am so concerned. Maybe, it's because I too am married and have a husband. I just don't know why these thoughts keeps on knocking through my brain.
I remember her saying ;
There are nights when I feel restless. Feeling sad and lonely. I can't understand. He doesn't kiss me anymore. Not unless I kiss him. He gives me a smack once in awhile. But, that's it.
Then she added ;
We never make love the way we used to. Most of the time, he just lays down and let me do all the work. I feel that all he cares about is his own satisfaction. Not even thinking if he's given satisfaction to his wife.
The worst thing is, he doesn't say I love You anymore ! Not unless I tell him, then that's the time he answers back. Sometimes, he would just ignore what I said.
I felt ashamed that time. For I didn't utter a single word. I just listened. Not knowing what to say, but I'm sorry. I felt like, all she needed is someone who would listen to her. Someone to cry to. I was thinking of something to say that would make her feel better. But, couldn't find the words. She even sent me a prayer about the problems she's facing now. Don't worry readers, I already asked permission from her if I could publish it. I just can't mention her name to the public. I explained to her that it gave impact to my life right now. I became aware of certain stuff. And, I have to shout it out. Maybe, someone out there would have something more better to say. Someone out there would give better advice than the one I gave her.
Here's my writer's prayer:
I am not asking for too much. I just can't seem to understand where I really am right now. I mean, what I am to him. I know he provides for us but sometimes, it makes me think that the reason why he's thriving hard on his work is because he needs to think of his OWN goals and dreams. How about the simple things that would make his family happy? I assume he has already put that aside. Being too caught up with his dreams that he's starting to misunderstand and bypass his families needs and real happiness.
Lord, I appreciate him and his good deeds. But, why can't he appreciate the simple things I could offer to our family. Lord help me please! Help me lift up my cross.
Until now, I know she's not yet healed. I do hope and pray for her peace of mind. I believe that the more people pray for a person, the stronger the prayer will be. May God Bless her.
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